Ostracism

I've spent many years observing social interactions in hallways and recess courtyards of schools. As we enter a season that traditionally is about caring, sharing and peacemaking, I want to tell a little fable.

Once upon a time there was a misfit, a 13 year old boy who was not handsome. He was overweight, had hair that looked like his mom cut it with blunt scissors, and wore thick, thick glasses that distorted his eyes. Whatever outfits the other students wore, the boy always seemed to wear something that didn't fit in; if they wore cut-offs, he wore a suit and tie, if they dressed up, he wore jeans.

He always sat alone at lunch. If someone sat at the same table, they were careful to put at least 4 or 5 feet between them. After a while he stopped going to lunch. When someone sat next to him or walked next to him by accident, then the other students kept away from that person too - far away. The boy didn't talk much. He withdrew into himself and set up a kind of cloud of sadness around him, making others avoid him even more. He didn't get good grades and was always picked last when they chose teams. He was bitterly lonely, but he told his mom that everything was fine at school.

The boy spent most, if not all, of his adult years recovering from his adolescence.

This boy could be you and I. We've all seen people like the boy, whether male or female, in public school or at a senior citizen book club. What would it take for people to reach out and sit with someone who is ostracized and risk their own status? Is the responsibility of education only to teach curriculum, or is there something even more important? The arts teach empathy, but need to go much farther. We need not only to feel what it's like to wear someone else's shoes, but also to learn what to do as a result of understanding what that person is going through.

ethics

I heard a heated discussion on the radio this week about the woman sentenced to stoning in Iran. I had no idea how brutal a form of execution this is, undoubtedly cruel and unusual punishment.

The two sides of the debate boiled down to: can those outside a culture or legal system have the right to criticize or impose their view of ethics/morality on that culture? Does the Universal Declaration of Human Rights have a right to apply? Women and men called in from all over the world on this radio program, presented by the BBC. The discussion also referred to the current debate in France, where there is a new law forbidding women to wear veils that cover their faces. One caller referred to a news report of a woman killing her daughter-in-law for having an affair (considered a crime in her culture); when the woman's daughter testified against her in the U.S. murder trial, the daughter was ostracized and event threatened by her community.

When we talked about these issues in my high school drama class, about 95% of the group thought that countries and cultures have a right to pursue the customs of their religion without interference. "It's their religion," they said. A few students thought it depended on the situation.

How far is too far? Was the verdict in the Mehserle case right? Is what some people call our "occupation" of Afghanistan based on saving human rights, or protecting financial interests? Is lethal injection a violation of human rights, and if so, do other countries have the right to invade us to prevent it? What about genital mutilation as a coming of age custom still in practice?

The next day, the news reported that Iran was not proceeding with the stoning sentence for the woman.

These are all questions that our education should prepare us to face. How are we doing?

Open Minded or Safe?

Familiarity breeds contempt. Variety is the spice of life. Reach for the stars. Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

High school students cite boredom and pressure as two major factors in drop out rates or failing grades. The slogans above certainly point to the importance of variety, newness, and creativity in human experience. Yet why does my group of Juniors and Seniors react so adversely to the unfamiliar? Unfamiliar class activities, unusual scripts, costumes from previous centuries, all bring choruses of protest. And speaking of chorus, the music issue. Yells of protest from every corner greet recordings or sheet music that are from the distant past or in a style completely unknown, as "not cool," or "not good music." Excited conversations grow from comparing notes on hits that "everyone" has heard. But shouldn't logic suggest the attractiveness of newness, of difference, to relieve the boredom that students detest. Why the love of the familiar, the already experienced, and where is the desire for risk and adventure in learning?

This trend is not just a high school phenomenon. I'm informed by market researchers that current audiences go online to see a show on YouTube or hear an artist's album before buying. They want something they already know they'll like.

Oakland school district administrators point to recent successes from adjusting curriculum to be more relevant to students' lives; connecting the material to familiar experiences. This is a technique we've used in Opera Piccola since our beginnings: "start where they are." And yet it's puzzling that we teachers have such difficulty in helping our students move beyond the familiar to the huge, unknown, fascinating world beyond. Perhaps the uncertainty of our world is just too much to take, and we long to stick to the safety of what we already know.
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